Tulip Sniper

Whee, it’s that time again!

Oh look, it’s snowing.  Spike finds a giant snowman, but it’s actually Jazz.

Double Whammy – Car AND Snow Pun:  Jazz says something witty, and Spike says “Thanks Jazz, I get the drift.”

Snowballs = spheroid projectiles.

Okay, Bumblebee throws a snowball at Spike.  He falls down and starts to roll down the hill.  He becomes a giant snowball and then knocks down three autobots (Ratchet, Mirage[?], and I forget the other bots name) .  I don’t think Spike would come out of this unscathed.  And yet he does.  Also, Mirage falls against a cactus covered in snow.  El Nino?

It’s July too…  Okay, so something is wrong with the weather.  Optimus figures it out and asks Telatraan to figure it out.  Oh no, the Decepticons are to blame!  Go figure.  It’d be hard to fight global warming with lasers, but it would certainly be fun to watch.  Oh well.

Now Megatron’s plan is to freeze the planet, and take all the energon from the earth’s core.  That was “kind of” the plot, or the same general idea, as “Revenge of the Fallen”.

There’s a robot frozen in the ice, apparently he’s big and stuff.  They still need to thaw him out.

Back at the station, after scanning the earth they have found the source of the earth’s problem.

This new robot looks interesting.  Pretty tall.  Oh, Starscream knew this guy.  Skyfire.  Flashback!  Skyfire and Starscream explored earth before the Autobots vs Decepticon fallout/civil war.  He’s awake now, it’s unknown if he’s on the Decepticons side.

All that is happening on the north pole.  The Autobots drove from the middle of the desert (in the USA) to the North Pole, which I’m fine with, except Spike and Sparkplug are riding in Optimus.  I’m sure it’s a long drive, a very very long drive.  They seem happy to be viewing the “Aurora Borealis”.  How the hell did the autobots drive across Arcitc Ocean!?  Also, the Borealis is pleasing to Optimus’ “optic sensors”.

Woah woah woah.  Skyfire asks Starscream if he’s happier to be a warrior than a scientist.  Starscream is a scientist!?  Skyfire was too.  Also, the symbol on his chest seems to bounce back between the factions.  The animators couldn’t keep it straight.

I just thought of something too.  If Starscream and Skyfire flew from Cyberton to Earth, and back (in Starscream’s case), why don’t they all just fly back home?  I mean, I know they want the energon, but they built that ship and everything at the end of episode 3 to get off the planet.  Maybe it takes a lot of energy.

I say again, they are in the North Pole.  Spike and his dad run away, spike falls into the icey tundra and his dad pulls him out.  Hypothermia should be setting in, but no, he’s still running around.

So, Skyfire is all confused about the whole “Decepticon vs Autobot” thing (as any robot encased in ice would be), and saves Spike and Sparkplug from their icey doom.  Then offers to take them to Megatron to show them that Decepticons aren’t evil.  Boy does this guy have it coming.  Anyway, the Autobots are hiding behind some ice witnessing this, and Optimus stops someone from firing at Skyfire as he’s taking the humans away, because they might miss and hurt them.  However, if you remember several episodes ago Optimus was a super sniper, so why doesn’t he do it?  Not to mention Skyfire is three times the size of every other robot.

My fiance walks in and asks when Megan Fox is going to make an appearance.

The autobots drive into the icey caves (It wouldn’t be an episode of The Transformers without a cave!), Optimus drove in without his trailer, but later he has one.  Then literally two seconds after that, in a scene where they hear the humans, they back up and he doesn’t have it anymore.

Cliffjumper’s laser has a “defrost cycle”.  I’m not sure if it was a joke or if he was telling the truth.  It might come in handy around Thanksgiving time.  I used to work retail at grocery stores and we’d always have a couple loonies come in the night before wondering if they bought a turkey if it would defrost by morning.  Idiots.

Bumblebee: “That’s what I call ‘Stopping him cold’”.  Enough with the puns, we get it, you’re at the north pole.

Oh, I called Hound Mirage earlier.  Mirage isn’t in this episode.  Ratchet is repairing Skyfire, so hopefully he’s on their side now.

The three plane decepticons drop bombs on the Autobots, man they know how to draw the best explosions.  Another Megatron/Optimus battle.  They are fighting with green crystal swords pulled off what the decepticons were mining from.

Skyfire is all good now, rips off the decepticon symbol (and apparently it looks like it was paper?), holds up the autobot symbol, and it had a really funky background, like fireworks were going on in the background, but only for like a second, and he puts it on.  Then picks up megatron like the dork he is, and throws him.  Also, transformed Skyfire looks like he’s actually two planes, an escape pod on the back and a normal one underneath.  He then threw a laser at the green thing, and skyfire gets caught under his own rubble and gets caught in the ice.  Basically he’s dead now.

“He will live forever, as long as freedom exists”.  WTF Optimus?  What kind of patriotic bullshit is that?  Then all the autobots say in unison “We shall remember”.  Replace that with “His name was Robert Paulson” and you’ve got the greatest multiverse crossover ever!

I am Jack’s cybertronian leader.